Happy (sort of) birthday, Grant!

Yesterday was Grant's one-month birthday. To celebrate, we planned a series of traumatic events.

First, we gave him a bottle instead of the breast (hateful thing #1). He took it, grudgingly, probably figuring it would be the low point of his day.

Then, Mommy gave him a bath (hateful thing #2). He screamed the whole time and exacted revenge by peeing on Mommy before she had a chance to wrap up the towel.

After his bath, Grant needed a new diaper, so he went off to the changing table for a diapering (hateful thing #3).

When he started to cry, we shoved a pacifier in his mouth (hateful thing #4).

He actually accepted the pacifier, which he rarely does. Maybe it was because he was so traumatized by the day's events. Maybe it was his way of saying, "Screw you, Mommy. After the horrible treatment I've received today, I'm boycotting your deliciously comforting boobs."

I can't believe a month has gone by since Grant came into the world. Now that we're four weeks in, what have we learned?

1. It can sometimes take two hours to eat a piece of toast.

2. Life (and a baby, especially) is random, so forget trying to discern meaning in it all. Swaddling and a white noise machine got him to sleep last night, but there's no guarantee it will work tonight, or the next night, or three hours from now, for that matter. Why does he do something one day, and not another? No reason. Completely random.

3. I can tolerate poop. I can tolerate pee. I can even tolerate spit-up and vomit. But I cannot handle boogers and snot.

4. Two hours can feel like an eternity when Grant is taking his afternoon nap, and I'm bored. But it feels like 15 minutes when he wakes up - AGAIN - in the middle of the night.

5. Motherhood comes with a whole array of complicated feelings. Like why am I so aggravated and angry when Grant wants to nurse for hours on end just to feel the comfort of being close to me, but then feel sad when he finally takes a pacifier?

6. It's no use trying to get Grant interested in toys or neat-looking objects. His favorite things to stare at, in order, are: the wall, the white curtain in our living room, the crib bumper (not even the part with colorful spots - just the solid brown piece), and the legs of his swing. Leigh once kept Grant entertained for 15 minutes with a ballpoint pen.

I'll leave you with pictures of a month-old Grant.

They say 4-week-old babies don't really smile. But tell me this isn't a grin:


Chillin' in the swing:



Cutie:



And lastly, the many faces of Grant, images taken with seconds of each other (he likes to emote):